A 2018 study found that just 16% of relationships survive infidelity, but it has a lot to do with age, gender and how long you’ve been married.
When you think about it, there are technically two types of cheating. There is physical and emotional cheating. Most people associate infidelity with sex; however, emotional infidelity can damage your marriage just as bad. There is a deep level of deception that goes along with having an affair which leads to a lack of trust. That lack of trust for the cheating spouse can lead to the question, can marriages survive cheating?
A 2018 study found that, among married couples aged 18 to 29, women are more likely to cheat then men (10% vs 11%). But in ages 29 and up, men are far more likely to be unfaithful than women, particularly after age 40.
It also found that, among people who had ever cheated in a marriage, 40% are currently divorced or separated. Comparing this to people who had never cheated on their spouse, researchers found that only 17% of adults who were faithful to their spouse are no longer married.
I would think that not many people would admit that they could stomach the idea of their spouse being unfaithful. You can describe it as glass bowl breaking, with the bowl symbolizing trust, and there are too many shattered pieces for it to be mended.
After the bowl is shattered, you begin to ask yourself why did they cheat? Why couldn’t I spot it? What did I miss that led up to it? I am sure people will tell you to look for the signs, but it probably helps if you knew what those signs were.
Signs of Cheating
- Some people cheat because they are bored in their marriage. If your partner seems completely uninterested and shut off from life at home, well…
- Others do it because they are fulfilling unmet sexual needs. This one seems obvious, but if your partner is not getting what they desire in the bedroom, they aren’t going to talk to you about it. That’s the hard way, so the easy way is to go find it somewhere else.
- And there are those who just does it because the opportunity presents itself.
- Also, if your partner becomes detached emotionally is a clear sign that your relationship is ending. Especially if they used to be upfront and open with their feelings. They could be sharing those emotional moments with someone else. Which could definitely lead to physical cheating as well.
Can your marriage survive cheating? You need to talk it out
A UK study found that 30% of cheaters had an affair with a friend. The workplace romance was next in line. And 20% of users said they have met up and cheated with someone they met online.
So, how does a marriage survive all of this temptation and cheating?
Let’s start with:
- Cutting off all contact with person you had an affair with… It just seems like a no-brainer
- Both partners have to commit to putting in time, effort, and energy into the relationship. The healing process will not be easy or clear, so maximum effort from both parties is required.
- Each partner needs to acknowledge their role in what led up to the cheating. Conflicts are always mutual. Even though one person cheated, you both had a role in the relationship problems that got you to this point.
- You both need to talk about how affair has affected you and the relationship.
- For the person who was cheated on, personal recovery is very important. Emotional damage can affect your physical well-being so taking care of yourself is a priority.
Can marriages survive cheating? Yes. If you are willing and able to put in the time, effort, and energy. You will need each other to make it work again, and to mend that glass bowl.