When entering a relationship, we are full of affection and love. These even cloud our judgments and the ability to decide because, well, love is blind! However, as the time goes on, you may find yourself questioning the relationship.
Am I growing with my partner? Do I still feel relevant and important? Do I still feel loved and cherished? The fact that you’re reading this article can be a sign that you are doubting your relationship and it’s possibly coming to a natural end.
Relationships are meant to add meaning and value to our lives, whether it’s companionship, love, friendship, or partnership. When a relationship stops having value or serves meaning, you know that it might be time to go your separate ways.
These are 5 signs that your relationship might be coming to an end:
1. You start taking the other person for granted
All relationships come to a stage of being stable and comfortable with each other. At the start, we all know that it’s passionate then you begin building a strong partnership. But for some, in this stage, they start taking each other for granted. If you keep doing this, your relationship won’t last long. Why? Because no one wants to be taken for granted. Everyone deserves to be treated special, loved, and be appreciated for their worth.
Signs that you are taking your partner for granted (or that you are being taken for granted) are:
- You stop expressing gratitude for the small things (worse is for big things) they do for you.
- You ignore their real efforts, gifts, or their help. Even worse, they might even annoy you and feel ‘needy’.
- You stop investing in them or in the relationship.
- You feel like your interests and needs are neglected.
- Your partner is the only one working to keep the relationship fun, and healthy.
2. You keep trying to change your partner
This is something I learned from my past relationships. Whatever you do, you cannot force someone to change. You cannot control someone because a relationship is not ownership. It’s a partnership. Trying to change someone is a violation of their personal boundaries. It’s intervening in their lives and this for sure damages the relationship. You might not notice it immediately but it’s enough reason to break your relationship.
One thing that helped me to not make the same mistake is accepting my partner as a whole. Before entering a new relationship, I had to be clear of my own boundaries as well as my partner. Know him well. Learn and accept his flaws. I know I cannot change a person but I can always inspire someone to change. You can lead someone towards change without manipulating them because no one wants to be controlled and always being told what to do.
3. You stop making new memories
There is a time in relationships where you get complacent with each other. The start is always passionate until you get busy and it’s almost impossible to keep your relationship as new and exciting as the first. You stop making efforts to introduce fun and new memories. From a sweet and passionate start, things start to become sour. You get too comfortable with each other. You choose to stay at home and stick with your routine, instead of going out and trying something new. This can really hurt your relationship and won’t make it last longer.
One thing I do to keep my relationship active is visiting new cafes every month. Since we love coffee and sweets, we explore our city and look at new places to visit. I make sure I have time to do something new outside our routine because this is a proven way to keep our relationship going.
Invite fun into your relationship. Make a list of things you want to do together and schedule it into your calendar. Consider your interests and put a spin on your routine. Make a bucket list together. Here’s an ultimate couple’s bucket list for you to start with. Click here to find 50 meaningful things to do, or you can make your own list and find unique ideas.
4. You keep watering a dead flower
When two people fall out of love because of circumstances, it’s a sign that you have to leave the relationship. But if you keep making efforts to save a dead relationship it’s like watering a dead flower. Watering will never revive the plant therefore it’s a useless act. When you keep doing this, the relationship won’t last long. Sooner or later, when you feel alone and rejected, you’ll realize that the relationship is not giving you any value.
There are a few signs that you should stop investing in your relationship, to save you heartbreak in the future:
- Your fundamental values have changed. They build the foundation of a relationship. Once your values are different from each other, you know you have to leave.
- You are just staying in a relationship because you are afraid of losing your partner and you don’t want to be alone.
- You don’t feel loved and prioritized.
- You are not being honest.
- You have a ‘gut feeling’ that it’s not going to work.
5. You stop sharing and communicating.
Sharing and communication is one of the foundations of a relationship. If this is broken, the relationship starts to crumble, and it will not last long. It is important to express your feelings all the time, even if it hurts the other person.
Honesty is a great value in a relationship. The last person you should hide your feelings from is your partner. Often, we avoid painful conversations because they are hard and they bruise us but trust me it makes your relationship better.
True listening is also very important in communication. And true listening means setting aside your own opinion first. Let your partner be heard and then you speak your own.
Talk about your day, even if nothing special happened. Look for conversation starters for couples on the internet. There are tons of resources out there. Use these to know your partner better and have a meaningful conversation together.
Over To You…
If you can relate to one of these signs, it’s not too late to change and turn your relationship into a lasting one, however, you should be aware of toxic relationships and ensure that you’re putting yourself first.
Honesty and hard work is at the core of any successful relationship. If you have that, it can last a lifetime.
The article is a guest post from Alita, the creator of Share to Inspire blog. It’s all about personal growth. It includes relationships, finance, and productivity. Her mission to inspire and empower women pushed her to create this platform. Self-growth is her thing and that includes relationships. Check her website here for more inspiration.
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